


At Long Last

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Canon, Anime Spoilers, Intercrural Sex, Levi is a Little Shit, M/M, actually kinda violent, explicit for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:50:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3323030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi was pulled off the streets by Erwin, he never expected to be in the survey corps for this long, but his future continues to dim as he experiences loss and pain and tragedy. It's only natural that he and Erwin fall in together, seeking reprieve from the harsh world around them, but to what end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fist fic, so any comments or suggestions would be extremely helpful!  
> Enjoy!! :)

There’s no way Levi is letting himself get pushed around by the tall blond jerk with overcompensating eyebrows. He has to be in the survey corps for this job? Fine. But he didn’t realize it would mean practically becoming the man’s slave: doing the laundry, cooking his meals, filling out all sorts of seemingly meaningless paperwork. He even did most of the cleaning, although Levi felt compelled to do that anyway since the place was so god damn filthy.  
  
This was Levi’s third week with the survey corps, and he was still a total outsider. His friends, especially Farlan, made quick buddies with the rest of the team, but Levi refused to get closer to any of them. Not surprisingly, none of them wanted to get any closer to him either, not after he showed up to training and blew everyone out of the water with his skill in using the 3D maneuvering gear. He’d still yet to prove himself against actual titans, but his prospects were actually favorable.  
  
Levi stretched his right arm across his chest and cocked his head to the other side, trying to get a crick out of it as he entered the mess hall. Wooden picnic tables of shoddy craftsmanship were set up in neat rows on the cold stone tiles. There was a kitchen of sorts in a small back room, where a pot was boiling potatoes with some identifiable vegetables the color of barf. Fiery torches adorned the walls at regular intervals, glowing orange and red and casting flickering shadows on the weary faces of the soldiers. There were some small windows up by the ceiling but only the dim light of the moon and stars shone through at this time.  
  
The loud laughter of the soldiers died down somewhat as Levi entered the room. He could hear them whispering behind his back as he passed each table on his way to the kitchen for his share of the rations. The voices were barely audible, but he still caught bits and pieces. “Scum” and “criminal” seemed to be the most popular, those he was used to, but the one comment that made him flinch was the mentioning of the word “bitch” following what was most definitely not a flattering statement.  
He strove to ignore them as he usually did, and fetched his meal from the pot before going to sit on his own in the corner of the room where a torch had burned out. None of the light reached him there. It had been almost a full 24 hours since he’d last gotten any sleep, so he very nearly passed out right then and there if it weren’t for Farlan’s hand on his shoulder.  
  
With the exception of Erwin, Isabel and Farlan were the only ones who associated with Levi, mainly because they had been friends since before they left the underground city. The two men practically raised Isabel, teaching her how to navigate the world of crime and poverty underground before they were forcefully “recruited” to the army. Isabel had always been the most enthusiastic of the three and her bubbly demeanor carried over to her training. She was quite good as well, more so than Farlan, but they barely matched what the actual soldiers could do.  
  
“Levi!” She cried out, cheerily sitting down beside him and offering him an apple.  
He inclined his head. “Hey you two. How’s training going?” He asked. “No thanks; I don’t think I can eat any more,” he said in response to Isabel’s gift. In truth, Levi wasn’t at all that hungry and only managed to eat the stew because he knew that he needed his strength. Erwin scarcely gave him any time to rest.  
  
Farlan seated himself opposite Levi and Isabel. “It’s fine, although the soldiers don’t like us as much. This little munchkin,” he referred to Isabel affectionately, “even managed to defeat four different opponents when we were sparring.” Isabel, who’d just taken a huge bite of the apple, beamed proudly.  
  
Levi tuned to her and ruffled her hair a bit. “Good job. Keep that up and you might even be a squad leader someday.”  
Her eyes grew wider and shone like opals. “Really? You think so? Man, that would be so awesome!” Isabel attacked the apple with renewed ferocity.  
Farlan frowned at Levi. When he next spoke his words were barely a whisper, even Isabel couldn’t hear them. “You shouldn’t have said that. She actually likes it here, so don’t get her hopes up. This is just a job. Once you get rid of Erwin we’ll have our pardons and get out of here.” Levi said nothing. He knew Farlan was right, of course, but right now he didn’t see an opening. They were going to be here for quite a while.  
  
“Dammit Levi,” Farlan muttered and stood up abruptly. He was angry now. “This is what we’ve been waiting for! A chance for a better life! Can’t you see that?” He was getting louder; the others would be able to hear him soon. Isabel watched them with a quiet fear in her eyes. “We’ve been through hell together, and somehow you managed to get us into the survey corps! This is worse than hell! What did any of us do to deserve this?!”  
  
Now Levi stood as well, and threw him against the wall. “We didn’t go through hell together, you followed me! And you followed me here, too! I didn’t ask for you and Isabel to come! I didn’t want this for either of you! You both could have gone free if I did everything Erwin asked and damn you for not taking that opportunity!”  
It would be easy to hear a pin drop in the mess hall at this point. No one said a word, and all eyes were keenly watching the heated exchange. The two men were panting slightly, and Farlan hung his head. “Yes, I followed you. I couldn’t leave you alone if I tried. If you were alone, god knows you’d be dead or worse already, and we couldn’t stand that.”  
  
Levi hadn’t notice Isabel come up and hug Farlan’s leg until she tugged on his sleeve. “I knew he was going to follow you, and that’s why I came too. You’re my best friends and I’d be really lonely without you.” Her usual merriment was gone, replaced with a forlorn look that mirrored the gravity of the argument.  
  
Farlan sensed Levi’s somewhat weakened grip on his collar and took the chance to grab his wrists. “This isn’t your fault. You understand that, don’t you?” Once again, Levi said nothing. He stared at Farlan like he wasn’t even there, like there was nothing on the wall of note. “Levi?” He asked, tentatively. No response.  
  
“Levi, have you finished that mission analysis yet?” Erwin’s commanding figure loomed above Levi, and the shorter man turned hastily around. Farlan and Isabel saluted their leader without letting their eyes leave the ground.  
  
“No sir.” Levi didn’t salute, but he looked Erwin in the eyes. They held that contact without blinking for what seemed like hours although in reality it was merely a few seconds. He refused to let the larger man get any more power over him than he already had. Levi might be Erwin’s slave, but he was still a fighter and resented any authority that wasn’t his own.  
  
Then the tension snapped like a dry twig. “Don’t just stand there, get going.” Erwin’s tone was icy. Even so, Levi didn’t break eye contact until Farlan pushed him forward slightly. He made a ‘tch’ sound and left the mess hall without a word.  
  
As soon as he left, the cafeteria erupted into an explosion of conversation, where the soldiers voiced every comment they’d kept to themselves during the exchange. Levi chanced a backwards glance to see Erwin bend down to speak with the tiny Isabel, who laughed and finally let go of Farlan. Levi’s chest pained him with regret for making his friends upset with him, but he didn’t regret anything he said to them. It was all the truth, and there was never a reason to apologize for that.  
He moved through the hallways languidly like a cat and climbed one flight of stairs before he reached the small room that served as his quarters. Mostly he worked in Erwin’s office when he had to do paperwork, but he had no desire to see him again until the next morning. He wasn’t even allowed to be in there on his own; Levi supposed that they thought he would steal something, but there wasn’t really anything worth stealing in there.  
  
Levi was just the slightest bit lucky that he didn’t have a roommate. His things were always organized and the room was always clean to his satisfaction. When he entered it that evening, he lit three candles and placed them on the small table in the corner before sitting down on the edge of his hard mattress to finish studying the old mission reports Erwin gave him. The papers consisted of maps for the most part, with the occasional comment or two from the various squad leaders concerning troop placement and supplies. Hange was a name that frequently appeared, and she continually requested permission to attempt capturing titans during missions.  
  
Why was Erwin making him read these anyway? Levi thought he was a prisoner here, good for nothing but doing chores that no one else wanted to do. Sure, he and his friends were being trained and would most likely accompany the survey corps outside the walls, but they weren’t considered an actual part of the force, were they? Either way, it didn’t matter. Once Levi got a chance to take out Erwin, they’d walk free and lead a luxurious life on the inside of the innermost wall, as far from the titans as they could possibly get.  
  
But for now, he’d continue to play the role of captive servant. After about an hour, Levi was nearly done with the stack of reports and started to dose off. He roused himself and held the back of his hand low over one of the candles. It burned a little, but it woke him up and would heal relatively quickly. Twenty more minutes was all it took to finish, but once he put down the stack of papers and lay down, he found that he wasn’t drowsy at all.  
  
Eventually, Levi fell asleep, but only after watching the candles’ flames dance on the ceiling for quite some time.

*****

The next morning was when Levi finally met the notorious Hange. He was sweeping the hallways on the upper level where all the personal quarters were when the crazy lady came running down the hall and almost ran right into him. Almost, because Levi anticipated the collision and stepped out of the way. Unfortunately, she stripped over a loose floorboard and started falling. Levi deftly caught her, sinking forward slightly as he did so.  
  
“Careful now!” Hange didn’t seem distraught at all despite embarrassing herself so much in so little time. She winked at him. “A woman might think you were interested.” At this Levi dropped her. “Ouch! What was that for?”  
  
Levi picked up the broom and turned his back, not bothering to recognize her rank, as he had also refused to recognize Erwin the previous evening. “I’m not coming on to you.” He resumed his duties, studiously ignoring the looks of curiosity being directed his way by Hange.  
She made a “hmph” sound and picked up her papers. “So you’re the one Erwin won’t shut up about. ‘Hange, you won’t believe his attitude! He’s such a sarcastic little shit.’ Well those weren’t his words exactly and there was definitely a lot more to it, but ‘little shit’ was definitely used at some point; I remember that. Anyway, I hear you’re his lanky, so could you give him these for me?” She messed around with the disheveled papers in her arms before handing a few loose ones to Levi. After that she hurried off with only a backwards glance a small wave. “Nice meeting you!”  
  
Hange ran off towards a large floor-to-ceiling window and turned right to go down the stairs. Levi listened to her scurry down one flight of stairs before she tripped. Her momentum carried her the rest of the way down. He chuckled at her mishap and faint cry of “Don’t worry! I’m okay!” and hoped that she was much more capable in the 3D maneuvering gear.  
  
The rest of the hall wasn’t as dirty, so Levi finished sweeping without much trouble. He wiped a bead of sweat off his brow and stared out the window into the courtyard, where the newer soldiers were training, Farlan and Isabel among them. Thinking himself to be completely alone, Levi smiled as he watched Isabel disarm a man with a strong resemblance to Erwin with ease. Although he never really expressed, he was quite proud of her.  
  
Erwin strolled leisurely along the sides of the tiled yard, staying in the shade of the large bushes that line the exterior of the castle, occasionally offering a word of advice to those who were sparring. The immense castle belonging to the survey was only used when they had a larger amount of time than usual in between missions, but it was always in relatively good condition save its permanently filthy state. Levi considered it to be hardly livable. Erwin paused beside a large oak tree, mouth upturned in a twisted smile. He raised his head slightly to look at the window where Levi was watching, where Levi watched him. Erwin raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘why aren’t you working?’ Levi tched and pulled himself upright from where he had been unconsciously been leaning against the wall. Break time was now over.  
It was odd that he didn’t have to train with the rest of them, but Levi didn’t really think he needed it anyway. Besides, he was a renowned criminal. None of them were going to trust him with their lives any time soon.  
  
The rest of the morning’s work passed by quickly, enough that he had an extra ten minutes to grab his lunch before the others arrived. Levi wasn’t particularly in the mood to talk with his friends after the big argument yesterday, and he could do without all the remarks the soldiers made for once. Today’s course was leftovers from the night before, so he took his portion of stew and ate it on his way to the courtyard, taking a sinuous route so as to avoid meeting people.  
He sat down against the outer wall of the castle that was closest to one of the bushy fences to finish eating while the last stragglers of the group emptied through the front doors. When he was done eating, he gingerly set the bowl down on the ground and got up, wrapping his fists in old rags, before heading to the fa side of the courtyard. He might get in trouble for being out here unsupervised, but he would deal with that later. Right now, he wanted to hit something, and the sandbag dummies were as good a place to start as any.  
  
He stretched for a sufficient amount of time but after that immediately attacked the nearest dummy once. It didn’t have a lot of resistance to the force he applied so he decided that he could hit the whole lot of them much harder. Levi’s imagination started coming into play, and his opponent started off with a wide hook from the right, which he ducked under and responded to with a sharp jab from his left knee. Soon the other two dummies came to life as well, closing in on him from all sides.  
Levi imagined the one directly in front of him pulling his sword up to bring it down on his head, and lunged forward to butt the dummy with his right elbow. He spun around to attack the next one three times, with each fist and a final blow with his foot. The last attacker wielded knives, so Levi would have to be more cautious in close range combat. He finally chose to run at him and slide with his legs outstretched to catch it off balance, and pushed himself off the ground on the other side of the dummy, pulling his right arm back to punch it.  
  
Before he had the chance, however, someone grabbed his elbow, forcing him to take a step back to regain his composure. “Oi, let go of me; who do you think you are, Er—“ Levi broke off midsentence. The person holding him back right now was indeed the mighty Erwin, face still scowling but this time also held a hint of amusement.  
  
“You look silly out here combating only those sandbags.  
  
"It’s lunch time, why are you out here?”  
  
“Because you weren’t inside.”  
  
“Leave me alone. I have to stay fit too, you know; keeping me cooped up inside all day isn’t going to help me to survive.”  
For a moment neither of them spoke, but then Erwin let go of him and pulled out two sets of wooden sparring swords, handing one of them to Levi. “Come on, then.” Levi stood in slight awe. Perhaps the most famous man on the face of the earth was offering to spar with him, a lowlife street rat that should probably have been by now. Then the moment was over.  
  
Levi gripped the swords like he would the controls for the 3D maneuvering gear and put himself into his ready stance for fighting, with his feet apart, left side facing forward and leaning back slightly. Erwin just stood there like a rock. Both of them were unmoving, neither wanting to make the first attack on the other. Levi blinked, and that was when Erwin burst into motion.  
  
His attack used all the force in his right arm, swinging up hard from a downward angle and coming down towards Levi’s face even harder. What a brazen move, easily observed and blockable, but leaving no room for a counterattack. Levi raised his swords in an X shape to parry the blow, but noticed far too late that Erwin’s big motion with that arm was a distraction for his other hand to bring the weapon into Levi’s side. In a last ditch effort to save himself Levi took a step forward and swept both arms up, out, and around so that both of Erwin’s attacks could be averted. The blows jarred his arms, but at least he hadn’t been beaten so soon.  
  
Erwin laughed and retreated to a safe distance, but quickly moved in again for another attack. This time he held both swords towards the ground, making it difficult for Levi to see which one he was going to strike with. He observed Erwin’s body for any kind of sign that would help him figure out how to deal with this attack, making careful note of his long stride and the way his arms moved as he ran.  
  
Time seemed to slow down as Levi moved his left foot back and raised his right sword slightly, angling his body ever so slightly. Erwin furrowed his brow at the small movement, most likely confused by the apparent lack of reaction on Levi’s part. He tightened his grip on both swords and pushed off the ground, lunging headfirst at Levi, low enough so that he would hit his chest. Levi narrowed his eyes and, when Erwin was only a hair’s width away, he shifted his weight backwards and spun around, and while Erwin passed by beside him he brought one sword’s hilt down on his back and pointed the other at his throat when he landed on the ground.  
  
The normally cool expression on Erwin’s face remained only for a moment before he smiled and laughed. Levi was shocked. He was just beaten by a subordinate, no a prisoner, and all the man could do was laugh? Levi hated him for it; he hated him for pulling him out of the slums, hated him for trying to help, hated him for losing. They weren’t friends and they never would be. Spurred on by his sudden repulsion of Erwin, Levi kicked him hard in his side and started walking away. Erwin stopped laughing immediately and doubled over, coughing.  
  
Levi calmly walked inside, not quite letting the door close behind him. He managed to make it halfway up the stairs before he was hit from behind and knocked down on his face. “That hurt,” he said, jumping up and going up a couple steps, glaring at the perpetrator. Erwin stood clutching his side with one arm and hold the other out to a dumbfounded Levi.  
  
“You won, fair and square, but kicking a man while he’s down is no way for a soldier behave. Don’t caused any more suffering than you have to. Kill them or don’t, there is no in between.” Levi just stared at him icily. After a moment of waiting, Erwin grinned and lowered his hand having realized that Levi wasn’t going to shake it. “You have more work waiting in your quarters. I expect it to be done by morning. Tomorrow, I’m pulling you off housework.” With that, Erwin straightened himself up and passed Levi on the stairs, heading to his office. Levi stood frozen until he heard the squeaky door close. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and proceeded to his own room.  
  
He unclothed himself and fell into bed, exhausted from his sleep deprivation of the past week and from the fight in the courtyard. He was mentally and physically weary, and promptly fell asleep despite the vast amount of meaningless paperwork Erwin piled onto his desk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short chapter guys; I just feel like what I have planned will fit better with a longer chapter. That will be next chapter, which may or may not also contain some porn ;)

When Levi woke up, he tripped over his undershirt and belt, which were tangled together in a pile, and poked his head out the door. The hall was empty and dim, the most light coming from the torches on the walls, and a waxing moon just peeking out over the treetops. Oh shit he was going to miss dinner. His stomach growled wildly, causing him to spring into motion, hastily throwing on his shirt from the pile on the floor.

He jogged down the stairs and into the mess hall, which was almost empty. Only a few stragglers remained, drinking the shitty bear, and they cleared out quickly once they saw Levi enter. It appeared to him that they were in even more of a hurry to get away from him than usual, possibly because they were intoxicated and no longer had any sense of civility.

The cook glared at him disdainfully out of the corner of his eye, but continued to wipe dishes while Levi took one of the freshly cleaned plates to get some of the flavorless vegetables. The cook couldn’t have been more than sixteen years old; he probably joined the scouting legion with noble intentions but, upon seeing actual warfare and gore, took the easiest job he could to get away from it without becoming a wanted deserter. Levi had no pity for him; you should follow through on what you want, not give it up halfway because you get a little scared.

It suddenly dawned on him that that may be why he hated Erwin. Before being drafted into the military, Levi wanted nothing more than to keep himself and his friends alive, maybe see the surface every once in a while and own a couple nice things. Now, he felt like sitting still—something he used to enjoy—wasn’t enough when there was stuff to be done, like fighting for humanity. It made him a little sick to think that he might actually give his life for a cause now. He was a selfish man and liked it that way. It was a simple line of thinking, and he didn’t want to change who he was.

His food had grown cold in the time it took for him to reach that conclusion, but his hunger overcame the putrid taste and soggy state. He deposited the dish next to the cook who seemed to have been waiting for him to finish. He scoffed and elbowed Levi on his way out. Levi didn’t react and kept walking, focusing on the ground beneath his feet as he walked, and therefore didn’t notice another man come by.

Levi stopped at the mess hall’s entryway to pull up his pants (his belt forgotten on the bedroom floor) and gathered that his appearance was less than appealing at the moment. His hair was an unkempt rag, and his shirt was half untucked and filthy. The drawstrings on the front of his shirt were completely undone, and he noticed that one of them was frayed and dangling short than the other. He made a mental note to fix it later.

Levi spared one last glance across the uniform tables into the back kitchen, intending to just walk away, but what he saw surprised him to the fullest extent. The cook had abandoned the dirt dishes in favor of the brown haired man now sitting in his lap. He had one hand on his cheek, the other rubbing slow circles on his lower back. Levi couldn’t move. His eyes were locked on the scene in front of him as the men started kissing, languidly at first but growing increasing passionate with every slide of their tongues.

For a change of pace, the brunette man ground down against the cook, who broke away for just a moment to elicit something halfway between a man and a gasp. At that moment, Levi roused himself and shook his head, forcing himself to look away from the erotic display and hurry back to his room, pondering what had just happened. There was no way the men had seen him so he was in no danger, but he had still intruded on what was obviously a very private moment and didn’t know what to make of it.

It wasn’t their sexuality that bothered him, it was the fact that they had managed to establish and apparently maintain a relationship in times of war. Didn’t they know that one of them was going to die sooner or later? Perhaps that’s exactly why they do it. Regardless, Levi didn’t have time for that sort of thing, even though it had been a while himself.

He was by no means a virgin, and he didn’t have a particular preference when it came to sex. He’d had men and women, mostly men, and in both positions. Whatever gave him release was good enough for him. Levi started longing for some kind of physical contact, and as a result of that could feel himself start getting hard.  
‘Not now,’ he told himself as he sat down in his quarters and started shuffling through the incredible amount of paper on his desk. As an afterthought, Levi pulled out the papers Hange thrust at him earlier and put them at the bottom of the pile so Erwin would see them tomorrow. He worked well into the night, and soon enough the words on each page started bleeding together and Levi lost the ability to read sometime after midnight.

Too tired to even make it to the bed, he simply blew out the candle in front of him and laid his head down on the table. It may not have been very comfortable, but he still slept well, and awoke feeling fresh the next morning.

*****

Okay “fresh” may have been an understatement. His neck cramped horribly from sleeping on the desk, and he had a large red mark on his forehead. Levi slowly pushed his weight onto his feet and grabbed the edge of the table. He tried to get up using all that support, but still staggered a bit as he stooped to pick up some of his clothes. Levi took his time getting dressed; he even bothered to comb his hair a little in front of the little cracked mirror hanging on that wall.

It was only after he stepped outside that he realized how late in the afternoon it actually was, and that he was probably going to be killed by Erwin sometime very soon. Hastily, Levi grabbed the papers he got through the night before and sprinted down the hall to Erwin’s office. “I’m sorry.” It was an empty apology, and he only said it because he might make him a little less dead in the next few minutes.

Erwin was busy signing contracts for their next expedition—now only a week away—and didn’t even look up when the door exploded open to an exhausted-looking Levi; however, his hand stopped moving for just a second before starting again even faster. “You’re late,” was all he said.

Not knowing what else to do, Levi just placed the papers on a coffee table by the entrance and stood next to it, waiting for Erwin to tell him exactly what he was doing here. He kept fidgeting, but otherwise said nothing, thinking it best to avoid provoking the inelastic commander. When he felt enough time had passed, Erwin put his pen down, neatly aligning it with the infinite piles of paperwork, and finally looked at Levi. While he was sitting down, they were actually at equal heights. “Starting today, you’re going to be my second-in-command.”

“You can’t do that!” Levi spat back at him with venom he didn’t know he was capable of. If Erwin did this it would only be more difficult to get away with what he had been contracted to do. Moreover, even if he did manage to assassinate the man, he would only be taking over his place in the survey corps and thus making it impossible for him to live inside of Wall Sina. Levi clenched his fists and had to refrain from punching the guy immediately. Erwin was taking away his every chance to lead a better life, to give Isabel and Farlan a better life.

Erwin stood up and walked around the desk in a way that reminded Levi of a large predator, and came to stand immediately before the short man. “You are a corporal now; you will help me oversee training and plan for expeditions beyond the walls. You will continue to clean, but only this office, and you will still do the same amount of paperwork. Is that understood?” The last part wasn’t so much a question as it was a dare for Levi to challenge him.

He accepted the challenge. “You can’t make me do this. I don’t want it.”

“No? Well, I have to give you some incentive not to kill me, and this seems to be the simplest thing to do.”

Levi gaped at Erwin’s composed face in complete and utter shock. How? How did he know?!

“There’s no point in denying it. Besides, it’s not like your friends haven’t already been given a better life. They’re well fed, have warm bed, and know they’re safe. You could do worse, you know.”

“It’s not good enough!” Levi raised his voice again. “In a few days we have to go out there and fight titans, and you of all people should know how dangerous that is! This isn’t the ‘safety’ I wanted for them!” Levi shook so much that anyone outside the conversation would think he was sitting buck-naked in snow. “It’s not good enough…” Levi repeated and slumped into an armchair that looked comfortable but felt like a rock. He didn’t know what to do. All his life he’d dreamed about living on the surface, but never as a military man, much less on with command.

Erwin rolled his shoulders back, relaxing tension that Levi hadn’t noticed before, and leaned back against his oak-wood desk. “This is a better option than whatever the payout on your contract was. Things work differently aboveground; as soon as you got your reward someone would dispose of you. At least here your only threat is from dumb lumbering giants who ae over three meters tall. All three of you are decent fighters, you especially, so that should be no problem.” As he spoke, Levi put his face in his hands took short breaths.

Levi wanted to hate him. He wanted to hate him how he hated those thugs who cornered Isabel oh so many years ago. He wanted to hate him like he hated his father, who was a drunkard and a slob. He wanted to hate the man before him so very, very much, but after all those things he’d just admitted to doing for a group of criminals he didn’t even know. It was as if a bolt of lightning struck his chest as Erwin’s words finished sinking in.

He refused to let anything show, but his mind was in complete and utter turmoil. ‘He really is a good man,’ Levi thought, rewriting everything he knew about him before. He took one final shaky breath before looking up, eyes glinting with something quite unlike the loathing he so wanted to feel. Now it was something more akin to gratitude, friendship, admiration. “I’ll take the job. I’ll do whatever you want, dammit!” He’d never repay a debt such as this.

Erwin opened his mouth and closed it again quickly, clearly already regretting whatever it was he was going to say. The next time he opened his mouth it was to assign Levi reading material and curtly dismiss him for the day.

Whatever moment they may or may not have just had was lost in the wind banging against the windows, alerting all the castle’s inhabitants of the coming storm. There would be no training in its duration but long briefings on the upcoming expedition. Even Levi had to present something about flare guns, a new signaling technique that would help communication across a more widespread formation.

That night Hange brought him dinner, and quietly explained the full chain of command, as well as informing him that Farlan and Isabel were to be in her squad for the trip and assured him that she would do everything she could to keep them safe. He disliked the idea of letting them out of his sight out there in the wilderness, but Hange was a capable veteran, so they’d be fine. At least, that was the mantra he kept repeating to himself after she left. He went to bed early and slept sounder than he had since his arrival.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took so long to update this, but I was very busy with school and also just had to build up enough courage to write some semblance of porn. I know it's not very good, but bear in mind that I've never written anything like this before. I'll probably add more later. Please read the end notes, and enjoy!
> 
> Edit: I went back and revised some things, mostly dealing with grammar but also some italics. I really should be doing homework right now but who the hell cares.

TEN DAYS LATER  
  
Flies buzzed around the flanks of the horses, who little energy left for anything other than slowed and shakily making their way down the narrow path between the sky-high trees surrounding Erwin’s group. Only a few rays of early-evening-orange sunlight peaked through the dense canopy of ruffling leaves, and the worn-out soldiers riding single-file down an even more worn-out trail were silent, partly to listen for the faint pop of flare gun signals but also partly because they had no energy left in them.  
  
Levi rode directly behind Erwin, with a shell-shocked new recruit behind him, and the rest of their squad had already been… they’d been eaten. Their bodies hadn’t even been recoverable. At the moment, they were heading towards the edge of the forest closest to the wall, although that was still quite a distance away. There, they would regroup with the rest of their party for the night and head home in the morning.  
  
As expected, Erwin had pushed Levi’s abilities to the limit, and even past it. He’d actually forced the rest of the squad to watch as Levi faced down three titans on his own. The first one was no problem, since he caught them off guard, but the other two proved to be more of a challenge, and he took out one other before Erwin struck down the last one just as it was about to step on the ace. The commander looked down on him with what seemed like scorn, and Levi forced himself to get up as if nothing ailed him to prove to Erwin that he wasn’t done yet. Or maybe it was a look of approval? Levi couldn’t actually tell.  
  
More time passed, and night stated to descend upon them. The treetops shook at the slight gusts of wind which gave the impending darkness the sense of a blanket slowly enveloping the forest and its inhabitants. Once they could see torches high up in a particularly compact cluster of trees, Erwin reigned his horse aside and sent the newbie on ahead, sure that he could manage such a shot ride in his condition.  
“What is it, sir?” He asked poignantly.  
  
_Levi had started treating Erwin with respect after his promotion. In return, Erwin had also stopped overworking him, and made an announcement that the next person to talk about his new second-in-command behind his back would have to muck out the stables singlehandedly for the next month. Naturally, there was someone who didn’t believe him. Allison—that was her name—waited until not even 5 minutes past the time Erwin had left the mess hall to speak up. Hange immediately reported it to their commander, after having a good laugh at Allison's audacity._  
  
_Farlan approached him not long after Hange’s departure, sheepishly mumbling under his breath. “I’m sorry about the other night… I shouldn’t have said those things. You’ll take him out when the right time comes.”_  
  
_“That’s right!” Isabel chimed in, smiling. She pointed at Levi’s orange. “Can I have that?” Levi rolled his eyes and tossed it to her, and noticed Farlan’s shoulders lose a bit of tension as he laughed. Loathe as he was to admit it, he had missed their family-like dynamic. This is what Erwin had done for them._  
  
“You’ve done well today, Levi,” Erwin stated as he got off his horse. He walked around to the right side and reached into his saddlebag for a waterskin. “As I predicted, you are more capable than any warrior I’ve ever seen, and you have surpassed every expectation. I can use you to implement new strategies, maybe even try to capture a titan for experimentation like Hange keeps insisting we try.”  
  
Levi didn’t really care about all that; he was content to deftly slash at the necks of monsters and jump away again just as quickly. But it’s what Erwin wants, so he’ll go along with it. That man had earned Levi’s trust… no, faith… what was the word he was looking for? Regardless, his superior definitely had his highest level of respect and admiration. He remained silent.  
  
Erwin took a long swig before passing it up to Levi, who was actually taller than him while on the horse. It wasn’t water but whisky. “This is against regulation,” he said before taking a long draught and handing it back. Almost as an afterthought he added, “Thank you.”  
  
Erwin shrugged and took another sip. “Sometimes it’s okay to break the rules.” Levi made a ‘tch’ sound. This guy was just full of pleasant surprises. “Hold my horse a moment.” Levi leaned over to grab the dragging reigns of Erwin’s bay gelding and watched the man retreat into the brush adorning the side of the path, presumably to take a piss. Sure enough, he could faintly hear a wet sound coming from behind a bush.  
  
He was wiping off his hands with a rather large leaf when he reemerged. He expertly swung a leg over his horse and gather up the reigns with one swift motion and secured the waterskin back in the saddlebag.  
  
Surely that wasn’t all Erwin had to say to him? Levi didn’t want to ask in case he was wrong, but this seemed like a menial topic, hardly worthy of a private conversation. It was true that Erwin did not like to give praise to his subordinates, at least to Levi’s knowledge, so maybe it really was what warranted the time alone.  
  
The two traveled the rest of the way to the camp in comfortable silence, and arrived just as the last bits of natural light faded out of existence. Erwin immediately departed to check in with the other squad leaders and plot a course for the next day’s travel, so Levi assumed he was dismissed. He grabbed a decent portion of salted pork and refilled his canteen before zooming up to Isabel, who was perched on a rather wide branch facing away from the forest. She wore a grim expression despite having avoided the brunt of the fighting; she’d only had a small skirmish with a very small titan—only 2 and a half meters tall—and Hange had even taken care of it in less than a minute with no casualties.  
  
Levi took a seat next to her and poked her in the ribs, startling her out of her reverie. “Hey munchkin. See anything interesting?” Isabel squealed and hit his shoulder but he barely felt it.  
  
“Look at the stars. If you look real close you can see animals!” Having lived underground most of her life, she’d never really gotten a chance to see the open sky. Levi and Farlan had managed some time in a clearing above the city, but never for long. He smiled at the memories.  
Levi smiled, a nice warm smile, the kind one rarely sees, even more so considering who currently wore it. There was a wooshing noise to his left, and Farlan alighted on the branch right in front of him. Farlan had seen no action at all since he was escorting the supply train in the center of their formation, which was the safest place anyone could be. He was still haggard after so many days in the saddle.  
  
“That one’s a snake,” he said, putting a hand on Isabel’s shoulder and pointing up at the sky.  
  
She giggled. “They all look like snakes! You need to think harder than that!” Farlan only laughed.  
  
Levi leaned forward to join the game. “There’s the scouting regiment’s insignia.” Both his companions stared at him momentarily before bursting in tear-jerking laughter.  
  
Farlan hit Levi’s back and gripped the older man to steady himself. “That’s rich. You’ve been humoring Erwin so much that you’re being patriotic in your free time too!” At that Levi winced and jerked away from his best friend. He hadn’t told them that he wasn’t going to fulfill the contract, he hadn’t planned on doing so at all.  
Isabel crawled to the tip of the branch and sat with her legs dangling over the edge. “Be careful!” Farlan called out, getting a nod in return. Satisfied that she could take care of herself, he seated himself on his knees in front of Levi. “Levi… You should do it tonight.”  
  
“No!” The hurt on Farlan’s face at Levi’s immediate reaction was telltale that their contract had been weighing on him greatly. “I can’t do it. Not yet.”  
Farlan hung his head, taking his time before he next spoke. “I know I said I trusted your judgment, but if not now, then when? He trusted you enough to give you weapons and a position in command. It probably won’t get better than that. He’s even sleeping out in the open tonight.” Levi peered over the edge. Erwin was indeed unrolling a sleeping bag on a branch only slightly lower down. “Do it tonight; we can take out both the sentinels, steal some horses and be back inside the walls by tomorrow night! What do you say?”  
  
Levi gripped Farlan’s chin and tilted his head up. “I won’t do it, Farlan.” He pulled the younger man into a tight embrace, his head pressed against the side of his chest. It was an oddly reminiscent gesture.  
  
“…You said ‘won’t’ that time.” Levi froze, still as stone. “You said _won’t_ , not can’t. You’re not going to do it. Why?” There was an edge to his voice that previously wasn’t there. “Why.” This time it wasn’t a command. He sat up and took Levi’s face in his hand.  
  
Levi forced his head to the side, not wanting to make eye contact. “You wouldn’t understand.”  
  
Farlan gripped him even tighter. “We have to. We were going to be rich! Rich citizens!” Levi said nothing. Farlan let go and stood up, angled slightly toward the branch below. “If you won’t do it, then I will.”  
  
That was enough to send Levi into a flurry of motion. “No. You’re not going to hurt him. You will not do a single thing!” If he had thought Farlan looked hurt before, the expression he was making now was absolutely heartbreaking. Then it turned into rage.  
  
He forced himself up and attached his wire to another tree, where his squad was resting. “I won’t hurt him. But just know that if anything bad happens me, or to her, is your fault.” He looked away. “It’s all your fault.” And with that, he zipped away.  
  
It was only then that Levi noticed Isabel staring at him with watery eyes. “Izzy…” He began, but didn’t get to finish. She was already speeding away after Farlan.  
“Serves you right,” Levi muttered to himself, turning over and wrapping himself up in his sleeping bag, alone. He could see Erwin a little ways below him, already fast asleep. It really would be so easy just to go up right beside him and stick his sword through the commander’s jugular. The very thought made him sick. ‘I won’t kill him’ was the thought that accompanied him while he fell asleep.  
  
_I won’t do it._  
  
_I won’t._  
  
But just before he finally lost consciousness, there was another, weaker voice resonating within him. This is the one that filled his dreams that night, his nightmares.  
  
_It’s all your fault._  
  
That night, he dreamt that he was standing over Erwin’s dead body, bloodied knife in hand with Isabel and Farlan on either side of him. “Good job,” they said in unison, “This is what we wanted.” He dropped the knife and kneeled beside his commander.  
  
‘I can’t lose him, I can’t lose him.’ He kept repeating those words over and over, but no sound would come out of his mouth. Then Erwin’s eyes flew open and he grabbed the collar of Levi’s shirt, pulling him astonishingly close, so that their noses were mere millimeters apart. A sense of relief flooded Levi’s veins upon seeing that he was alive, although he had already surmised that this was in fact a dream.  
  
The two hovered like that for a moment, Erwin taking deep, raggedy breaths, before Isabel screamed shrilly behind Levi. He whirled around, suddenly in his 3D maneuvering gear, to find that faceless men in suits dragging his two best friends into a shadow. ‘NO!’ he wanted to shout, but again he found that no sound would escape his lips. He chased after them, but once he entered the shadow, all he could see was the darkness. It surrounded his very soul, pulling at his insides and making him feel as small and insignificant as possible. At first he fought the sense of hopeless despair, but after a lifetime of fighting it, he just gave in.  
  
He blinked. He felt sluggish all of a sudden, and when he reopened his eyes he found himself in the dungeons beneath the survey corps’ castle. A putrid stench filled the air, and he almost gagged himself in an attempt to cove his nose with his sleeve. A quick glance around the cell he was in revealed the source of the smell: two rotting corpses. Upon closure inspection, it appeared that the larger one had what used to be its arms wrapped around the smaller one protectively. Levi knew without looking closer that they were the bodies of Isabel and Farlan. He turned to the door, unable to bear the sight any longer.  
  
Erwin stood there, now free from any wound, and upon seeing his commanding officer, Levi could no longer smell the death the lay behind them. “This will protect them. I can help you save them,” said the dream-Erwin. “Stay by my side, and you can keep them safe.” He held out his hand, in the same manner as he had after their first sparring session. This time, however, Levi looked him in the eyes and took his hand.  
  
“I’ll stay with you,” Levi said, finally finding his voice. “Always.”  
  
At those last few words, Levi bolted upright in a cold sweat, nearly launching himself off the side of the branch he was sleeping on in the process. That’s right. No matter how much they hate me right now, this is for them. They’ll see soon enough. I can keep them safe. While those reassuring thoughts coursed through his mind, there was now a more pressing concern nagging him.  
  
The Erwin in his dream had been in his personal space, closer than he’d let anyone else come unless he was fucking them. _What if I fucked Erwin?_ That thought alone, without any help from lewd fantasies, set him on fire. His spine tingled all the way to the small of his back and his blood boiled. He shook off those feelings as best he could, choosing instead to concentrate on falling back asleep, but to no avail. After the fight with his friends and the nightmare, he was just too wound up to fall asleep. Instead, noticing light coming from the sole command tent they brought on the expedition, Levi zipped to the ground and entered.  
  
Just like in the castle corridors, torches mounted carefully around the tent created a bronze glow over everything and made shadows dance in the crevices behind the crude wooden furniture. There’s a large rug on the floor covering the dirt in the center of the tent, while various piles of gear, papers, and books. A table completely covered in maps stood at the center of the room, over which a man still in full uniform was leaning. Upon closer inspection Levi realized it was Erwin himself.  
  
He was absorbed in the maps strewn out before him, not even noticing Levi as he leaned against one of the wooden posts of the entrance, content to watching him work for the moment. Erwin lifted one of the scrolls nearest to him and replaced it with a smaller one. He frowned slightly and tilted it closer towards him, as if something on it offended him. That’s when Levi noticed that his uniform wasn’t completely pristine as it usually was. The shirt was untucked and a few of the buttons on the collar were open, hinting at his bare chest. The bolo was nowhere to be seen. His hair was still in order, but not completely combed, and he wasn’t strapped into his 3D maneuvering gear. Even after a little over two months under his command, this was still the most unkempt Levi had seen Erwin.  
  
_I really would have sex with him._ As much as he’d tried to expel that line of thinking earlier, Levi couldn’t ignore it anymore. Erwin wasn’t unattractive—far from it, in fact—and he was a caring person underneath that hard exterior. Plus, it did seem that he’d taken a special interest in Levi if their private ride on the last stretch towards the camp was anything to go by. Levi smiled inwardly and stayed still, not wanting to interrupt Erwin or his own personal reflection.  
The moment didn’t last long though. Erwin rubbed his eyes with both hands and stretched his arms behind his head. That was when he noticed Levi. Immediately, his posture became more tense and composed. Clearly, he hadn’t expected company. “Levi. Do you need something?”  
  
“Hmm.” Levi allowed more of his weight to lean against the post, still attached to his meditation. Once he realized Erwin had spoken, he rushed into a salute, clenching his fist a little more than usual over his heart. “No sir. I couldn’t sleep and saw there was light in the tent.”  
  
Erwin waved his hand at him and slumped down on a wooden chair that was just a little bit too small for him, composure lost to the wind that was beginning to pick up outside. “We’ll be back in a normal bed in two days. Just hold out until then.”  
  
Levi, tacitly dismissed, took a seat at the side of the table on Erwin’s right and sighed. Don’t say it like that. Now he definitely wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. _I need to get laid._ Then out loud he said, “That will be nice.” He really couldn’t think of anything else to say. The atmosphere in the room felt charged, as if anything other than small talk would get him zapped by a bolt of lightning. The silence was awkward, heavy, much more so than before. That was when Levi looked up at Erwin, who stared at him intently and somehow also questioningly, mouth slightly agape. He was seeing so many sides of his commander this evening that he was starting to wonder if the man was drunk. No, he liked to drink but he’d never get drunk.  
  
Then he figured it out. Levi’s thought about getting laid wasn’t a thought at all. He’d actually said it.  
  
Shock overcame his expression, tinged with a bit of horror, but Levi stubbornly refused to be embarrassed over it. They were both grown men; it wouldn’t be uncommon for them to talk about things like that. Except for Levi to have made a comment like that during a conversation completely unrelated to sex meant that he’d been thinking of it beforehand. “I’m sorry—“  
  
Erwin cut him off. “Don’t do that. Don’t… apologize.” Levi looked up and Erwin averted his gaze, unable to look him in the eyes. At this the younger man cocked his head and lifted an eyebrow curiously but said nothing.  
  
The air in the room had changed again. Levi felt in control of the situation because Erwin was so flustered. No going back now. This time he made sure to say it only in his head, and kicked his feet up on the corner of the table (after verifying it was clear of papers, of course) which created an odd upward angle for his legs. He also wiggled his cravat loose in a suggestive manner, tugging at it for a prolonged period of time with his index finger.  
  
Erwin could only stare and shift his legs around in the awkward atmosphere. A knot of fear started building in Levi’s stomach, not yet stronger than the heat he was also beginning to feel in his groin area, but growing much quicker. If his commander didn’t like what was happening, he knew exactly which buttons to press to break him. Levi didn’t really care about his own well-being, but he would die before he let anything bad happen to Farlan and Isabel, even after how they’d been treating him since they’d arrived at the castle. Erwin could hurt him through them. Regret pooled in Levi’s belly, and his usual cool demeanor deteriorated quickly.  
  
Fortunately, the drastic change in Levi’s expression is what brought Erwin back from his daze. The blond giant folded his hands, resting his elbows on the table, and leaned forward with an intent countenance. “Are you offering se—what you seem to be offering?”  
  
After the shock of not being rejected wore off, the fear and doubt melted away into the ever growing lust that was overcoming Levi. He smirked and let go of his collar, using that hand instead to ruffle his hair. “If I am… would you take me up on the ‘offer’?”  
  
“Oh god yes!” Erwin was out of his seat in an instant. He pushed most of the papers off the table, while Levi hastily started removing his 3D maneuvering gear. Erwin, who wasn’t wearing his, was growing impatient and worked the straps on Levi’s legs, moving upward until he reached his dick. Levi wasn’t completely hard yet, and Erwin mouthed the bulging area over the leather cloth.  
  
Levi uttered a curse, faltering on the last little strap on his shoulder. “Erwin. Fuck!” He didn’t stop there, though; once Levi’s pants were down he licked a stripe down the underside of his cock, then stood up and started removing his own pants. He undid a few more buttons on his shirt, but Levi stopped him. “Don’t bother. Just… Ah!” Erwin closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together, hard and incessant. He slid his tongue along the seam of Levi’s mouth in a silent question, and Levi answered by opening his lips and intertwining their tongues. There was no battle for dominance, just a mutual and passionate fury.  
  
Levi focused himself entirely on kissing, and hardly noticed Erwin’s arm moving between them. He let out a loud moan when the man’s giant hand gripped both of them tightly and started rubbing them together. Levi bucked up into the motion, clinging to Erwin’s neck and trying to keep the kiss going. Erwin kept a steady pace but it wasn’t enough for Levi, who suddenly nipped at Erwin’s bottom lip and kissed him more forcefully.  
  
Erwin sighed into the kiss and slung his other arm around Levi’s waist, rubbing small circles on his back and increasing the motion of his hand. Levi strained to keep supporting himself, but his knees started giving out thanks to the pleasure surging through him from his dick. It got to the point where he could no longer stand on his toes to reach Erwin’s mouth and had to rest his forehead against the man’s chest. Now he was only standing—leaning against the table, really—thanks to Erwin’s steadying am around him.  
  
“Wait, let me…” Levi panted, and looked up into Erwin’s predatory eyes. The hand on their dicks kept moving. “Stop… Stop!”  
  
Erwin froze but didn’t move his hands. “Did I do something wrong?” His voice betrayed the same sense of doubt Levi had experienced not even ten minutes ago.  
  
In response, Levi shook his head. Loose hair spilled across his face. “I just needed to do this,” he said as he placed himself on top of the table and spread his legs, inviting Erwin back. “Come here.” Normally, Erwin would have smacked him for a comment like that, but right now the only affect it seemed to have on him was make him more ravenous, which he displayed with a deep and hungry kiss, and picked up a slower speed on their leaking erections.  
  
This time, however, Levi placed his hand his palm over Erwin’s closed fingers and squeezed, telling him to apply more pressure, moving with him, growling against his lips. Erwin placed his other hand on the table next to Levi, who reached behind his back for the—  
  
“Fuck. Fuck.” Levi broke off.  
  
“What, already? But it didn’t feel like you were…”  
  
“There’s no lube.”  
  
Erwin thought for a moment. “Spit?”  
  
Levi made his signature ‘tch’ sound and gave Erwin’s dick a tight, twisting tug, eliciting something halfway between a gasp and a moan. “Not when you’re packing this.”  
  
Erwin continued to eye him, thinking all the while. It made Levi nervous, and he started fiddling with his cravat, eventually just pulling it off to drop it on the table beside him. “Okay, I have an idea,” Erwin finally said as he sat down on the course rug and motion for Levi to join him. Levi, unsure of what his senior had planned, tentatively sat down on his closed thighs. “Now turn around.” Levi did as he was told.  
  
Then Erwin grabbed him abruptly from behind and pulled him flush against his chest, carefully positioning his dick between Levi’s legs. It brushed up against Levi’s balls and made him shiver. Erwin rained small kisses along Levi’s neck. “Close your legs,” he murmured, and Levi did. This created more contact between his own dick and Erwin’s, but the angle was difficult to work with. Erwin silently agreed with him, and ever so slowly turned them over so that Levi was bracing himself on the floor and against supply bags at the edge of the tent, with Erwin draped over him.  
  
The new position was still cramped for Levi but at least they’d get some pleasure out of it. Erwin experimented by pulling out and thrusting back in once. They both gasped, and Erwin drew back to do it again. He kept picking up speed until a constant sound of slapping flesh filled the tent. That lewd noise was accented by their moans and the little ‘ngh’ Levi would make every time Erwin spent a moment longer than usual drawing back. The contact of the commander’s large cock on the underside of his own, coupled with the consistent brushing back and forth across his balls drove him to the edge quickly. In one final loud moan, Levi fisted his dick and came after a few short tugs. Erwin followed suit immediately when he felt Levi’s twitching member.  
  
Erwin collapsed on Levi, whose stomach was now covered in semen. They rode out their orgasms like that, and Levi was afraid to say something. _He’s going to kick me out of the tent and pretend like this never happened._ He knew it was for the best, and that’s how he wanted it, but somehow the thought made Levi a little sad. It’s a shame there was no lube. Levi smirked at the thought.  
  
Eventually Erwin sat up and grabbed a torn shirt from one of the supply bags to clean Levi and himself off. Then he picked up both of their pants and handed Levi his. They got dressed in silence, and it was only when Levi was tightening his cravat, the final piece of his ensemble, that Erwin spoke. “It’s a shame we didn’t have any lube.”  
  
In that moment, Levi realized two things. One, that Erwin wasn’t going to act like it never happened. Two, there was a chance that it would happen again. Levi hoped to god that the second one was true. “Funny, that’s exactly what I was thinking.” They each smiled hesitantly, and leaned in for an awkward and chaste kiss, nothing like the passionate frenzy of the sex they just had. It held that promise of that next time, and Levi was going to hold on to it for all he was worth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have a very clinical style of writing, so the smut isn't exactly what it should be, but I think I did a fairly decent job considering it's my first time writing something like this. As always, any critique is useful so please leave a comment! Kudos and comments are what keep me going. Also, if there's any technical stuff like spelling or grammar errors please let me know so I can fix it. Love you all!


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